Lightening Up

One large issue that occurs for over thinkers, those focused on "the work," or emotionally driven is that we can get so caught in those emotions, that work, that thought that we forget to just lighten up sometimes.

We are simply letting the heavy outweigh the light. And like all things balance is key. I say all this from first hand experience, but not because I am an expert. I'm practicing "lightening up."

I too often am getting caught in the heavy moments of life, letting them weigh on me constantly in a day. Or thinking I need to work on myself or my goals each and every second. But where does this leave me?

Burnt out. Stuck.

While even though burnt out, I will not regret or be hard on myself for it. As this way of thinking has definitely driven me to be wise on matters and has propelled me my awareness to do a lot of really beneficial self work.

However, on the flip side I need to admit it has caused me a ton of stress. When this type of overthinking is happening I am not being light. I am not always in the present. I am not laughing. I am heavy and my thoughts weigh me down. All day long. No one day should have to be full of the same heavy feeling. There can be moments yes. I am not saying there won't be anything heavy. I'm saying the heavy thought or emotion can't consume your ENTIRE day.

Like I avoid others because I don't want to have another conversation, don't want to add to my emotional weight. But that's because I was letting that consume me. Then when I just have a light nice convo it became a realization that avoidance was feeding the problem. It was allowing me to stay stuck in that emotion because I was avoiding the present items that would pull me out of it. Me letting others in. Laughing. Talking. It all lightens me up and gets me out of those heavy thoughts. It puts me in present happiness.

This struck me the other day because when I was laughing, someone around me just stopped and stared. They said they had never heard me laugh. And while it was at my job, still the point was clear that I had been too serious. I realized I needed to laugh more. I needed to be in the present moment that allowed myself to feel light and enjoy vs being caught in the baggage, the work, the heavy emotion, etc.

This overthinking, overworking concept has ultimately led to others not knowing my true self. I was a social butterfly growing up, a spontaneous constnatly laughing and joking personality. But it became clear that that isn't how people would describe me now. While I know that trauma in my life turned that fun into survival and different phases of life meant different personalities and traits, it doesn't mean that part of me shouldn't still exist. Shouldn't show up in moments daily. Meaning be freely myself. Having light conversations. Laughing freely.

Instead I too frequently get caught in the intensity of heavy emotions and heavy thoughts. Doing the work but not having the light enjoyable moments to enjoy how far I have come. Enjoy how my life has changed and how happy I am because of the self work I have done.

So I'm practicing that. Practicing being present and light. Laugh at a joke. Make a joke. Don't overthink small matters. Enjoy the moment and not let the constant work of life leave me in a constant emotional heavy place.

I did the work for a reason. To get to a place of lighter. It's time to start doing just that. Lightening up.